Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Picking up the pieces
Sometimes there are tragedies that completely shake your life. Such has been the case with losing our boy. I’m finding that if the shaking is hard enough it will shatter your heart into a million pieces. Life then becomes a process of picking up those pieces and putting your heart back together. I am convinced that how you view God completely determines what kind of heart you will have once it is all over. Your perception of God is absolutely defining in those times. Who is God? An angry Grinch? A good Father or an unapproachable one? Knowing God’s attributes is crucial to putting your heart back together. The problem then, is that in trial our Enemy’s primary strategy is to get us to take our eyes off God. If he succeeds in that, then he’s well on his way to winning the battle. With that said, the grieving process is necessary. All the steps in the process, I believe, can bring us closer to God.
The steps in the grieving process are:
Shock
Emotional release
Preoccupation with the deceased
Symptoms of some physical and emotional distress
Hostile reactions
Guilt
Depression
Withdrawal
Resolution and readjustment
In this time it’s so crucial to be submersed in Scripture. In the sociological community words are looked at as meaningless until defined, and are defined by indicators. The problem is that in times of tragedy we can so easily take cues from the indicators in the situation to define who God is when God clearly lays out the clear indicators of who He is in His Word. God is 100% of all of His attributes 100% of the time.
The steps in the grieving process are:
Shock
Emotional release
Preoccupation with the deceased
Symptoms of some physical and emotional distress
Hostile reactions
Guilt
Depression
Withdrawal
Resolution and readjustment
In this time it’s so crucial to be submersed in Scripture. In the sociological community words are looked at as meaningless until defined, and are defined by indicators. The problem is that in times of tragedy we can so easily take cues from the indicators in the situation to define who God is when God clearly lays out the clear indicators of who He is in His Word. God is 100% of all of His attributes 100% of the time.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Courage
"Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means at the point of highest reality."
- C.S. Lewis
Today was the hardest day of my life. I watched my wife give birth to our lifeless child today. I saw the bravest person I've ever known in the eyes of my best friend. Today we said hello and goodbye to our son in the same breath, for this side of Heaven.
I fell in love all over again. With God and with my wife. I can't wait to see my boy again: on the other side, where we'll never have to say goodbye again.
Thank you to all who prayed, and all who have extended their hearts to us in the last 48 hours.
- C.S. Lewis
Today was the hardest day of my life. I watched my wife give birth to our lifeless child today. I saw the bravest person I've ever known in the eyes of my best friend. Today we said hello and goodbye to our son in the same breath, for this side of Heaven.
I fell in love all over again. With God and with my wife. I can't wait to see my boy again: on the other side, where we'll never have to say goodbye again.
Thank you to all who prayed, and all who have extended their hearts to us in the last 48 hours.
An artist and lover of God's take on grief
I may not understand,
But I will trust in you
The billows of this wave
Lead me back to You…
As an artist with an overactive creative mind, these words popped into my head around 4:00 pm yesterday, along with a melody. I was driving from the reservation to the mountain hospital after receiving a call to come in. Marissa was feeling some strange cramping coming from our baby in her belly, and her doctor wanted her to go to the OB to get it checked out. My 30 minute drive was half an intercession meeting with God and half being sick out of my mind not knowing the full picture yet. We lost a child at 8 weeks last year, and now Marissa is at 7 months. We’ve been watching the baby grow healthy, and enjoying the growth of Marissa’s belly in the process. Just a couple days ago, everything looked fine…but within the past 48 hours, things changed. Arriving at the hospital, I walked in to a teary eyed wife. And the ultrasound soon to follow showed and confirmed that our child no longer had a heartbeat and was stillborn. Needless to say, from then until now (4:00 in the morning) we’ve cried a lot of tears. We’ve had amazing friends pray with us, and be there for us, as well as acquaintances not really knowing what to say. As I’m remembering Job, one lesson that we can learn is that in trial if you don’t know what to say, then don’t make anything up! In times like these you take the good with the bad, and cling to God. Opposite of Job’s friends who offered their opinions, sometimes silence is the appropriate response. Often the most profound answers that God gives us are questions. Like young Elihu offers, “Behold, God is great and we do not know Him”. It’s OK to not have answers, and like one dear friend encouraged us, in times like these we just need to focus on the nature and attributes of God. She’s right. If we just look at our limited scope of reality, we’ll be crushed by these waves. Right now Marissa is trying to sleep, and in the morning they induce labor. Please be praying for the Bidderman’s to have strength. And for our grieving process as we cling to each other and to God. We are fortunate to have a support system of intercessors who are even crying out right now (at 4 in the morning). We COULD NOT do this, or any of what we do, without them.
We love you.
Clinging to Zeph. 3:17
joel.
But I will trust in you
The billows of this wave
Lead me back to You…
As an artist with an overactive creative mind, these words popped into my head around 4:00 pm yesterday, along with a melody. I was driving from the reservation to the mountain hospital after receiving a call to come in. Marissa was feeling some strange cramping coming from our baby in her belly, and her doctor wanted her to go to the OB to get it checked out. My 30 minute drive was half an intercession meeting with God and half being sick out of my mind not knowing the full picture yet. We lost a child at 8 weeks last year, and now Marissa is at 7 months. We’ve been watching the baby grow healthy, and enjoying the growth of Marissa’s belly in the process. Just a couple days ago, everything looked fine…but within the past 48 hours, things changed. Arriving at the hospital, I walked in to a teary eyed wife. And the ultrasound soon to follow showed and confirmed that our child no longer had a heartbeat and was stillborn. Needless to say, from then until now (4:00 in the morning) we’ve cried a lot of tears. We’ve had amazing friends pray with us, and be there for us, as well as acquaintances not really knowing what to say. As I’m remembering Job, one lesson that we can learn is that in trial if you don’t know what to say, then don’t make anything up! In times like these you take the good with the bad, and cling to God. Opposite of Job’s friends who offered their opinions, sometimes silence is the appropriate response. Often the most profound answers that God gives us are questions. Like young Elihu offers, “Behold, God is great and we do not know Him”. It’s OK to not have answers, and like one dear friend encouraged us, in times like these we just need to focus on the nature and attributes of God. She’s right. If we just look at our limited scope of reality, we’ll be crushed by these waves. Right now Marissa is trying to sleep, and in the morning they induce labor. Please be praying for the Bidderman’s to have strength. And for our grieving process as we cling to each other and to God. We are fortunate to have a support system of intercessors who are even crying out right now (at 4 in the morning). We COULD NOT do this, or any of what we do, without them.
We love you.
Clinging to Zeph. 3:17
joel.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)